Deborah Hardee

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We Met On A Plane

A handsome man caught my eye as he walked down the aisle toward me. Wearing shorts and a long sleeved shirt, he had a safari type of vibe and I found myself hoping he was the passenger assigned to sit next to me. I was headed back to my home in Boise, Idaho, about a two and a half hour flight from San Diego. Lo and behold, as he drew alongside me he politely asked me to step out of my seat so he could settle in next to me.

Conversation Takes Off

I was thrilled I’d be sitting next to this rock star of a man. Before takeoff, the pilot introduced himself and the flight crew and mentioned something about turbulence.

TURBULENCE! 

In a panic, I looked over to the gorgeous man sitting next to me and asked, "Did he say something about turbulence?” I'm terrified of turbulence, especially if it's long-lasting. He replied, “Are you afraid of turbulence?” I said, “YES.” He said, “If you get scared, I will hold your hand.”

Right then and there this man had my heart! It was like that moment in Jerry Maguire when Renee Zellweger says, “You had me at hello.” He had me at “I will hold your hand.” It melted my heart. He went on to explain that turbulence is normal and it happens all the time and that planes are built to weather any turbulence that they move through so there’s no need to worry.

My whole body relaxed.

I thought, with him by my side I can make it through.

We didn't speak further for quite a while. But about 2/3 of the way through our flight, we began a conversation about photographing the plane’s wing outside the window. It was lit by a light from the plane as well as the blue sky and gorgeous sunset. It was a stunning view.

Eventually I shared that I'm a professional photographer and a relationship coach for women. He began asking me questions about relationships and I described the transformation that happens with women in my classes.

Then he told me how his girlfriend struggles with her body because she feels ashamed. He said the beliefs that she has about herself get in the way of their intimacy because she's always in a state of panic instead of enjoying enjoying each other.

He expressed that it pains him to see her feeling insecure about herself. Even though he tells her how beautiful she is, she doesn't believe him. It hurts to see her suffer when, in fact, he’s in love with her. It's hard for him to understand her beliefs.

I encouraged him to give their relationship more time…to keep encouraging her in the manner that he’s been doing. I told him that he needs to keep reassuring her and at the same time observe how she responds. Does she relax into expressing herself sexually with him or does she express resentment and start arguments? I shared with him more information about feminine and masculine energy and how women usually respond well with a healthy giving guy they can trust.

The Heartbreaking Question

And then he asked me something that to this day tears my heart wide open. He asked, “Do you think I'm a healthy giving guy?” We had spoken so intimately on that flight home and to this day, it makes me choke up to think that this generous, compassionate and handsome man felt compelled to ask if he was a good guy or not. I was emotional when I exclaimed to him that I knew from the bottom of my heart that he was indeed a healthy giving man. I told him how proud I was of his ability to be generous with women and to show up as a hero.

I asked him, “By the way, what is your name?” He said, “My name is Will. “

Key Takeaways

If you experience body image issues, practice self-love and begin to tell your body how much you LOVE your body, even when you don’t believe it. Reach out and get help from women you can trust to show you the way. It’s all about your mindset and the opportunity to bring to the surface the self-limiting beliefs that are sabotaging your confidence.

This issue influences all women in the Western World to some degree, and it’s robbing us of the power and wisdom that comes naturally with age. Instead of focusing on the possibilities that come with maturity, many women in their older years are focused on how they look and feel alone and depressed. This is robbing our culture of the very women who can best bring an awakening of light and love to the planet.

Another key takeaway from Will’s story is how important it is to appreciate the men in your lives. It's your job to SEE and verbally complement the good men about how generous and kind they are and how much you value them. Give them thanks for their caring nature, for their strength, determination and courage.

The flight with Will taught me an unforgettable lesson about the power of human connection. In just a short time, we bonded through vulnerability, openness and compassion. I realized that even awesome men like Will need reassurance. So it's our responsibility as women to lift them up with appreciation and gratitude when they show up with caring strength. Though Will was questioning his girlfriend's insecurities, he hadn’t given up on encouraging her. That takes heroic patience and love.

I hope with time she will see herself through his adoring eyes and relax into receiving all he offers. But regardless of that outcome, Will shone as an honorable man committed to growth, communication and unconditional love. He inspired me to keep sharing this message of empowerment with women and appreciation with men.

We all have wounds and beliefs holding us back from profound connection. But this work of healing is so needed if we want to create healthy intimate relationships.

The brief encounter with Will reminded me that by opening our hearts bravely to each other, we open ourselves to transformational love. We remember and reclaim our wholeness. We ignite hope that true partnerships are possible when both partners walk the path of self-acceptance. No matter what doubts we carry, we are worthy and capable of deep love. And when we have the courage to love others wholly, we often set them free to love themselves and us in return.


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